*like gum hardening on the underside of picnic tables, my pasts die away. chewy centers crusted over by over exposure and lack of interest... flavor is gone. too much air. hard crusty- stuck for life.


*the stairs aren't as handy as they used to be- no longer built into my programming they now require thought in order to decend... but they're still partly mine. missing my sock on the tree rack and feet on the sofa its a sad thought leaving that.


*the half moon agrees with my new locks. and these icy sidewalks are useless; my feet are planted in the world above. to dreamland.

leaning on what i know and feel
im not surprised that im growing cumfortable
a place i'd never believe id get to
inspires me to be thankful that i never gave into desires of yesterday
again these racing emotions
are the variable in my days
time to find what i am
what i can be
getting in gear
one foot infront of the other
forward movement

please one more hour in bed

rolled over with a sigh, wrapped myself tight into these blankets, hoping they would change the reality of time and take me back to when i should have gotten up before... no such luck. so i dig into my mattress with a disapointed look and decide to fight for warmth.

i think about all kinds of things in this warm hideout. safe here to question ideas and get excited about future plans. an invitation to change the rest of my life has me all worked up... and yet- my indecisive nature is acting against its normal cause. im quite calm, collected, and decided.

a moment on ice, left my close comrade out of service for a while.. but brought him within a ten minute drive. seeing a cast isn't always believing- but x-rays reinforced the image. screws hold houses, buildings and now bone together- im amazed, and glad, at what the body can take.

think theres a girl in the next room with my roomate, the extra car and boots by the door say so. but here i'll bundle up in these blankes anyway and find my way to my pc so i can rid myself of that disapointed feeling for a while. except it just came back.

used to not understand what it meant to feel lonely after five hours of being apart... and now... perhaps i'm beginning to get it. its more of the absence of opportounity to meet your hands, and to be eye to eye

maybe she wasn't crazy.

driving
accompanied by a band i shouldn't probably listen to because it reminds me of not so long ago.
silence in my mind, eyes glazed over on the road
contemplation of relationships ended
how you want to let go, so bad
and am sorry you cant hold on to what used to be
home is quiet
empty and thoughtful
looking back with no regrets
on a time when mistakes were in their prime
silence is the tv, backdrop to more wonder
typing keys are the only exit

it only takes an instant
a mocking chuckle to end hearty laughter
a slip on the ice to break a leg
a negative tone to ruin a joyful mood
a minute to feel like an hour
a monday drive to use up the first quarter tank
one mind to run wild with ideas
a weekend to start the week over

and just one instant is all it takes

these foot prints on where i entered are still wet
i step over them now and pass just as quickly
in and out, here and gone
on my mind
enhanced moments of instinct drive me to notice the smaller things
like the twinkle of vulnerability in your eyes
and the uncommon grace of your parted lips
although they come and go, just as i do
in and out, here and gone

anticipation to a celebration has me snipping away at the edges of my medium. anxiously awaiting for pages to load and reveal what my comrades have commented on in the last hour... good therapy after accepting the let-go of others. but isn't that life- people coming and going? learning all you can while your paths cross?
well anyhow, these lights from passtimes drive this night into tomorrow and words seem bland. but if nothing else, drivel leaves my amigos blank boxes for happy distractions. that alone is worth it.

with a gusts of wind and snowflakes to prove it mother nature snickered while reminding us that winter is coming. being her biggest fan, i much enjoyed the show. at the end of the morning hours the clouds parted and she showed a different light and happier drivers.

its a call during the week and relying on me to accomplish a surprise
its a hearty hug- and letting me capture a moment with a purse
invitations to share some time and stories and memories...
...of ones past and ones not yet made
getting through the battles of hardships when friendships are lost
its you and me
i'm overjoyed in thought of how much we've bonded
trusting in your friendship (and hands on my steering wheel :)) brings me strength and smiles
and now to be bonded as the girlfriend of a friend and friend of a girlfriend...
well, i know it always was, and will continue to be

when reality of time grasps our joined hands, our minds are forced into acts of daydreams
cabin docks and sunsets on tropical black crystals
european balconies and wet tracks below warm box cars
i surge with pleasure at the thought
escaping time, escaping the reality of time

tonight i am content to dream, tomorrow too, if reality does what it does best.
because to live in your thoughts of us, brings new life to thoughts of my own
and i am pleased to have you anywhere

as ripe and alive as fruit plumping in the spring, i rejoice in nightime shared. morning came, i felt renewed and filled with the juice of experience.
the moments in between what we were and what we were going to be stole my mind and soared with enthusiastic excitement. i rise just the same.
my favorite game gathered my questions and threw all worries out to sea.
such beautiful surprises lie in your responses... hanging on each moment to hear what you'll grace me with next.

Like a cold shower in mid November, I was drenched in reality. Soaked with the acceptance of this fabricated drama that's running wild in my life. All the while knowing the story all too well, for I've read it a hundred times in the back of my mind. So with a good wake-up call, I finally understood the moral, and put it out for pickup. Good riddance.

People come and people go but they never know what is going on
So they gotta try to be what they wanna be
What the hell is happenin' to me?

"Back in the day"
Oh it wasn't that far.
Not a day goes by that wont be in the back tomorrow.
Take today as a sample to you.
It looks cloudy outside,
What are you gonna do? Well, we could get up.
Or we could get on down.
We could drive to the country or head down town,
Maybe I'll join you too.
We could have been so much better off than before.
If we held on true.
Take today, and go walk for a while.
Well just sit back Jack and relax and enjoy a smile.
Well let your mind go… For a minute or two,
Let your mind levitate for a delicate few.
Maybe I'll join you too.
We could have been so much better off than before.
If we held on true.
I said but lately I've been feeling mighty old.
I said the Sun has got me cracked this wind has got me cold.
And I'm so damn tired of loosin my friends.
Every single time I go and loose my ends.
I say but that's okay, I'm on my way.
I don't appear near, but maybe I'll end up that way.
And in a while when I realize there's something new.
But until then I got to hold on true…

OAR